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a genius (Free verse) by moonUnit
I can see it now at a fragile age your first love second love whatever love that you should want because you will not be denied, have never been denied. I used to rest my head between your shoulderblades and listen to you talking we all knew you were so brilliant. you are more than I will ever have the chance to be but I don't mourn for that anymore. I used to break down at the very mention of your name and shake, and cry it's been three years and still i love you.

Up the ladder: The Cad
Down the ladder: My Son

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.928571
Weighted score: 4.9477816
Overall Rank: 8991
Posted: October 15, 2002 7:45 PM PDT; Last modified: October 15, 2002 7:45 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 16-Oct-02/2:29 AM | Reply
This is very direct, though I don't really understand the first/second love part - is that you? Or someone else? Anyway, you should forget this person and move on, you'll be happier.
[4] Tintagiles @ 198.164.238.92 | 16-Oct-02/7:03 AM | Reply
The ending is so damn boring...
[5] ==Doylum @ 213.123.47.177 | 16-Oct-02/7:11 AM | Reply
oh dear
[4] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.102 | 16-Oct-02/7:19 AM | Reply
the end makes me think of a cut-out picture shrine with incense and candles.
[1] poetandknowit @ 67.40.59.139 | 16-Oct-02/9:52 AM | Reply
I thought this was going to be good but it fell apart line by line until it pooped out in horrific fashion at the end.
[3] god'swife @ 66.14.87.50 | 16-Oct-02/1:16 PM | Reply
I can hear the beams failing at L13. Creeeeeeeak, splat!
[8] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 | 20-Nov-02/1:43 AM | Reply
Are you the child of Mr. Zappa? This is a nicely melancholic, elegiac poem, and it uses the word shoulderblades. Excellent.
[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 29-Nov-02/2:30 AM | Reply
i love you too. 10.
[9] debased @ 24.43.45.89 | 30-Nov-02/7:14 PM | Reply
sweet
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