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The right one (Free verse) by dngrules
Why do we do the things we do. If it's not to hurt ourselves Nor to hurt others Then why? Why do we do those things? Those things that break us into pieces Those things that keep our minds forever thinking Those things that we never want to do. Is it just the fact that we're bored Or that we're inexperienced in life Maybe we just can't do anything right I just want to sit here I want to go back to those days I wish there was something I could do I have so much pain yet it's only half of what is yet to come I love but one and yet still I'm clueless in my mind on whether there is only one Is there only one Only one person whom we can love Or can we really love everyone No one is perfect yet there is one we see in that realm I'm still clueless hunting for a shadow, which I think I've found But I have not met She is the one standing beside me The one always there by my side The one who thinks my thoughts What am I to do? To do in this world that I've seen I'm nothing but a wonderer these days Left in the empty woods with nothing but animals Maybe they will lead me on my way My way to true happiness But then again maybe they will lead me down Another one of those roads The ones with no ending They are black and yet I think there??????s hope But I have learned that I am nothing Nothing in this world I want to be rid of this treacherous world But then again there is that one The one of whom I love. She is the one I want The one true reason of why I stay She tells me she loves me And I tell her the same I think she means it Not just in that way That way most tell their friends Just to let them know there there. I want that girl with all my heart I know that my mind is confused But yet the sun still shines down In my cloudy world Upon that one true person The one I want to love and hold The one I always tell good night No matter what Because she's the one that makes me happy The one that fulfills my dreams The one that I have waited my entire life just to be with Without her I would not be Have I found this girl This girl of mine I think I have but that is for time For time to show To show that day I long for The day that will be like non other The one that will glow in brightness And will bring about Nothing but color throughout the rest of my life.

Up the ladder: Why Should I Care
Down the ladder: Angel

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.5
Overall Rank: 12821
Posted: October 8, 2002 10:54 PM PDT; Last modified: October 8, 2002 10:54 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] devina @ 217.70.229.57 | 9-Oct-02/3:22 AM | Reply
Nice poem, I guess I've felt this way myself once....
[n/a] JakeBike @ 167.206.181.179 | 9-Oct-02/1:41 PM | Reply
sure it will.
[0] god'swife @ 66.14.87.50 | 9-Oct-02/2:31 PM | Reply
Start by living in the space between past and future. Sorry to disappoint but there are countless people out there who could make you happy. It's just a matter of wanting to sustain the illusion. You're poem is bogged down with repetitive language and a lack of creativity.
[5] deleted user @ 216.175.98.88 | 14-Nov-02/2:19 PM | Reply
This kind of vague in theme. It is a good base, but there are too many different points going on here. I would advise that you break this up into two or maybe three poems, and develop in more detail each theme separately.
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