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To my Love (Other) by Jessina
Let me whisper to you the music of my heart Which I keep for you as my most treasured art Each morning I see your winsome smile My heart leaps for your care for a while Your gentle charisma rekindles the core of my soul Like the hot cinders of flaming coal Your face shines like a moon so silvery white Sketching my dreams with vibrant hues so bright You are a cascade of ardent love which is brimming Who always cheer up my heart and makes it blooming Your are the alluring fervor of my breathtaking life An effervescent charm who makes me smile in days of strife I always wish to be in your arms so lovely That invigorates my passion and makes my life so lively

Up the ladder: Distracted
Down the ladder: He Will Be Loved

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Weighted score: 5.029801
Overall Rank: 7306
Posted: June 22, 2011 2:21 AM PDT; Last modified: June 22, 2011 2:21 AM PDT
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Comments:
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 67.188.94.175 | 5-Jul-11/12:56 PM | Reply
Let me whisper to you the fine points of poetic law
cause breaking it can result in a broken jaw.

Uninspired rhyming causes me to smile.
My heart leaps at the chance to be vile.

Cliche prattle which mentions your soul
quickens my need for a needle in the hole.

Your drivel shines like meth so glittery white,
causing me to twitch in revulsion at night.

Your poem is a cascade of uninspired crap brimming
with the detritus of youth-- pubescent emotions blooming,
filling the air with the sound of frustrated screaming.

Woe to you, gripped in this particular sad stage of life--
you who hasn't yet come to understand the pains of real strife.

I wish that you'd reconsider sharing such poetry
because such lousy writing is far from lovely;
it causes my critique to be insultingly rude & lively.
[9] wDaphnew @ 85.210.14.200 | 26-Sep-11/11:03 AM | Reply
This poem is well worth posting at my new poetry site: click here to join! http://newpoetryshared.proboards.com
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