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Chasing Droplets (Other) by dinah I am cursed. I am able to give any gift in the world yet receive nothing.
I gave everything away in the past. Now I'm stuck in the middle, sitting
on the petals of the dead orchid that you keep watering, just so that I
have the illusion of life.
Give me one thing back - my body,
With that I will acquire the freedom I desire.
Up the ladder:
The Passion of the Bellybutton
Down the ladder:
Mistress of Dreams
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Posted: July 22, 2010 7:15 PM PDT; Last modified: July 22, 2010 7:15 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9602656 Overall Rank: 8645 Comments:
[4]
Dovina @ 68.183.220.26
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1-Aug-10/5:47 PM
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Reply
it seems strange that anyone, even you, could give "any gift in the world." Gifts seem more like the special traits that make each of us unique. Yet I fee the captivity of it.
I can see your pain
to give out life in full richness - the greatest of all gift and to now be held down And be bound out of life itself... what a pity definition of life.... for anyone ... woman or not
Nice, I love the last stanza. If you took out some of the complete sentences/wasted words like "that" and "the", I think it would be even better.
i like the overall sentiment. this feels like it hasn't been edited yet. write it however you like, but i would write it:
I am cursed. I give yet receive nothing. I gave everything. Now I'm stuck, sitting on the dead orchid petals you keep watering for the illusion of life. I desire freedom. give me back my body. 179 view(s)
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