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Under My Head (Free verse) by Blindpoetry
Keep car on the radio note Shift to the saturated air outside Stop turning me, alone by television Sleep twice a week and your fibers never die First, let a goldfish buy muddied lunch Eat an extra dinner put in my hand For the canned tuna wait in so much tap water To the windows, listen who put this here Happy Hour rolled up in one week As much as you wear socks, are shoes Plan long walks, can go to burn things Fields burn asleep, Flip off a lighter of watershed You and one person handy every day On anything, but when met And just for still only you And to just feel confused as ever When you desire the bed altered That moves a woolen sweater vest Keep falling, and flush it, nothing

Up the ladder: Dad
Down the ladder: The Pipes

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9788
Posted: January 25, 2010 7:55 PM PST; Last modified: January 25, 2010 7:55 PM PST
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Comments:
[3] jh99 @ 75.220.45.254 | 28-Feb-10/12:43 AM | Reply
I am absolutely confused by the lack of sense in this and the structure of some lines makes it worse. If this was intended to be abstract, it's too structured, and it's structure is too abstract.
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