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i am on the carpet (Free verse) by silvertongueddevil
i am on the carpet and you are on the bed, and the wine is leaking from the bottle and both our mouths are drunken and you believe in love and only love but the wine it makes you thirsty and you believe in love and only love but the evenings leave you winded and if our doubts had their way we might both be elsewhere, but doors and locks and stair flights conspire to do our thinking and when we look away we miss the wine bottle winking to the deadbolt and the deadbolt nodding to the pillows and the pillows blowing out the candles.

Up the ladder: I am free
Down the ladder: Autumn Songs

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.076923
Weighted score: 5.787294
Overall Rank: 1710
Posted: May 11, 2002 3:26 AM PDT; Last modified: May 11, 2002 3:26 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8]... anonymous @ 204.245.176.100 | 14-May-02/9:59 AM | Reply
smart.
[9] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 12-Jun-02/2:24 AM | Reply
this I really, really like. =)
[4] forestchild7 @ 216.77.216.8 | 19-Jul-02/3:22 PM | Reply
hmmmm?? weird.. maybe something there... I'm not sure...
[7] Venus @ 152.163.197.69 | 19-Aug-02/10:47 PM | Reply
yes, this works really well when read fast and rambling - took me a few reads to get the cadence right, but yes, I've got it! 7/10
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