poemranker ::i am on the carpet by silvertongueddevil

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Free verse № 1503

i am on the carpet

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 4 comments

i am on the carpet and you are on the bed, and the wine is leaking from the bottle and both our mouths are drunken and you believe in love and only love but the wine it makes you thirsty and you believe in love and only love but the evenings leave you winded and if our doubts had their way we might both be elsewhere, but doors and locks and stair flights conspire to do our thinking and when we look away we miss the wine bottle winking to the deadbolt and the deadbolt nodding to the pillows and the pillows blowing out the candles.

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mean 6.08 weighted 5.79 rank 1709 views 184 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

4 comments

[8] anonymous 14-May-02/9:59 AM Reply
smart.
[9] nentwined 12-Jun-02/2:24 AM Reply
this I really, really like. =)
[4] forestchild7 19-Jul-02/3:22 PM Reply
hmmmm?? weird.. maybe something there... I'm not sure...
[7] Venus 19-Aug-02/10:47 PM Reply
yes, this works really well when read fast and rambling - took me a few reads to get the cadence right, but yes, I've got it! 7/10