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Particle Deceleration (Free verse) by MacFrantic
One big rock and all that's left is agony, the instigator, and a crushing silence: doom. So too you grew, and dissipate. The shadow, our friend, comforts us in this womb; our metal grave. In the concentrated calm, beneath the sun-stained highway, shouts rise through the cracks. Life is impossible. The seatbelt straps are acrimonious restraints. Window shivs apply their embrace: I've perspired blood since we landed. So don't cry to me, you venomous, incessant defeatist. I shall forever be the better off without the wailing.

Up the ladder: dont bite my candy neck
Down the ladder: Domingos

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.1788044
Overall Rank: 4913
Posted: December 7, 2006 11:41 PM PST; Last modified: December 7, 2006 11:41 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 8-Dec-06/5:15 AM | Reply
Well, I think this is marvellous to read but if you want me to find any meanings below the surface it'll have to wait awhile.
[9] Dovina @ 208.127.72.72 | 9-Dec-06/6:23 AM | Reply
The last two lines seem unsupported by the rest. I think "doom" is too telling; we get the point without it. Otherwise good.
[9] deleted user @ 64.140.228.139 | 10-Dec-06/5:17 AM | Reply
This is good--great imagery.
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