poemranker ::Particle Deceleration by MacFrantic

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Free verse № 148278

Particle Deceleration

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Dec 2006 · 3 comments

One big rock and all that's left is agony, the instigator, and a crushing silence: doom. So too you grew, and dissipate. The shadow, our friend, comforts us in this womb; our metal grave. In the concentrated calm, beneath the sun-stained highway, shouts rise through the cracks. Life is impossible. The seatbelt straps are acrimonious restraints. Window shivs apply their embrace: I've perspired blood since we landed. So don't cry to me, you venomous, incessant defeatist. I shall forever be the better off without the wailing.

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mean 6.50 weighted 5.18 rank 4885 views 138 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[8] Ranger 8-Dec-06/5:15 AM Reply
Well, I think this is marvellous to read but if you want me to find any meanings below the surface it'll have to wait awhile.
[9] Dovina 9-Dec-06/6:23 AM Reply
The last two lines seem unsupported by the rest. I think "doom" is too telling; we get the point without it. Otherwise good.
[9] deleted user 10-Dec-06/5:17 AM Reply
This is good--great imagery.