poemranker ::Raising the nap by howl

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Free verse № 148150

Raising the nap

by howl

Member since 2006 · Posted 26 Nov 2006 · 3 comments

His teas in a barrow Loaded on one wheel like sod, He coughs as he pushes it forward. It is early morning But he is a long way from the market And slow as the creep Of soil. It is raining, He places a tea towel on his barrow And drives on scattering The robins and wrens. He is the small man with an Eskimo lung And it is already afternoon Before he pitches up and drops His hat and mumbles and smiles And makes enough for a woollen fleece By the end of it.

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3 comments

[6] Dovina 26-Nov-06/6:12 PM Reply
"pushes it forward" in the first verse tells me to stop reading. The idea isn't bad, but too many words and discontinuous thought.
[n/a] howl › Dovina 27-Nov-06/2:03 AM Reply
what do you mean re 'pushing it forward'?
[n/a] Ranger 27-Nov-06/2:23 PM Reply
'Slow as the creep of soil' is a really nice image. Does 'teas' want an apostrophe?