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He Cares So Little About His Self (Free verse) by Hostileintent
Five months ago, my friend I left But now I see on his body, a theft When I did leave, me => me he was like By three months I knew the theft was on a hike For a year he has commented of a bug In his stomach it did tear and tug He slept litte anyway, and lived like an oul During light he rest, and in the dark he did prowl But five months now, this killer compounded And for my friend, my fear is compounded From a different time zone he works His stomach gets worse Little he eats, less than before If only he cared, cared some more His t-shirt hangs from his shoulders His face like a ghost His body is thinning He comments, at most A change, drastic, has come WHAT HAVE YOU MY FRIEND TO DONE!!?? Eat so much he did, run around and shout Drink lots of beer and stout But now, no drink No exercise No sleep No eat No study No weight NO NOTHING Leave him be you bastard, come to me Try your shit, I dare thee But friend, brother, me too it does hurt Unfortunately it I cannot blurt Some day home I will return And you you You will be dead.

Up the ladder: Going Blind
Down the ladder: A Schizophrenic

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Weighted score: 5.3585887
Overall Rank: 3344
Posted: October 8, 2006 10:35 AM PDT; Last modified: October 8, 2006 2:35 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] helenwales @ 210.84.45.132 | 9-Oct-06/4:35 AM | Reply
good stuff
[n/a] piedle @ 218.214.77.187 | 11-Oct-06/9:56 PM | Reply
slightly melodramatic - bits and pieces really 'work' though.

Don't listen to helenwales, she writes for post 2000 Vanilla Ice.
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