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Belle Melange/The Curse of Millhaven (Glosa) by lmp
(quatrain taken from "The Curse of Millhaven" by Nick Cave)
"I've struck horror in the heart of this town
Like my eyes ain't green and my hair ain't yellow
It's more like the other way around
I gotta pretty little mouth underneath all the foaming"
Yes, I went to trial for a long killing spree;
It took them long enough to catch me.
I don't know why I couldn't stop it;
It must be a part of my deranged psyche.
God knows I am not really that evil,
But once the word gets around
People want to pin anything awry
On the girl who laughs at the sky.
They just don't know that I'm really out and down.
I've struck horror in the heart of this town.
So you see I'm a little bit depressed.
It's no wonder with all of the stress:
I've a daddy who says he'll always love me
As he slides his filthy hand beneath my dress.
My mother must know there's something goin' on.
She'll probably leave us for some other fellow
But first I wish she'd try to stop him.
I hate his awful hands and his foul whiskey grin!
Everyone will tell you just to go with the flow,
Like my eyes ain't green and my hair ain't yellow.
Not many would believe it's a curse to be pretty;
The attention can drive you more than crazy.
When a girl is plain, townsfolk can be mean;
To me they're as pleasant as they can be.
I sometimes wish that I'd get fat and ugly
But instead I'll kill off the whole damn town.
Why should I change to keep my sanity
When I can remove the problem permanently?
They say that my reasoning is not very sound.
It's more like the other way around.
I was found guilty on all murderous accounts
But I saw a chance to live and I pounced.
A coy smile and a wink to the pompous young judge
Spared me death when my insanity was announced.
To a home for the criminally insane I went
Where I was locked up with screaming and moaning.
I'm sustained on a diet of mood altering pills
To deny me the pleasure of my bloody thrills.
No doubt some day I'll once again be roaming:
I gotta pretty little mouth underneath all the foaming.
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.0
Weighted score: 5.1422777
Overall Rank: 5490
Posted: May 31, 2006 10:02 AM PDT; Last modified: April 10, 2012 11:53 AM PDT
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Comments:
1478 view(s)
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Anyway
This is super-cool, particularly in the way you keep in touch with the lyricism of the quatrain (rather than going all-out poetic) and the whole piece feels very bluesy. The rhyming is nice and strong, I don't like flow/yellow (enunciation differences in the stresses) but 'yellow' is a bastard to rhyme at the best of times. Super rhythm, and I might add that it reminded me strongly of Harry Chapin's 'Sniper'.
yeah, that "flow" line was tough, because the following line starts with "Like" and ends with "yellow". as you said, tough to rhyme with yellow, but i found the real challeng was to make something out of th phrase from the original quatrain. i guess the way i saw it was that you could replace "Like" with "As if" to get a sarcastic meaning and the two lines sort of work together. so:
just take it all in stride as if you aren't pretty and getting all sorts of unwanted attention.
i will have to check out "Sniper".
thanks for the comment, glad you liked.
In truth I can't remember how this was originally. Did you change much?