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In Ethelâs Honor (Free verse) by Dovina He set an Easter lily on her stone
Then watched as windy rain
Toppled it against her grave
He staked it up with chopsticks
Found somewhere in the trunk
Then watched her while it fell again
Bending low, he tried the vase
Set three years now in the ground
The lid stuck hard against his will
He struggled, then he moved it
The way of perseverance
But the potted lily would not fit
His wife of sixty-one years
Waited while he thought
She knew his process well
He poked a stick down through
The pot and nailed it to the ground
Then he stood and waited
The lily bent and fluttered
The chopstick held its ground
And heâd done what he could
Up the ladder:
Ambition
Down the ladder:
You're Good
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8
Posted: April 16, 2006 8:17 PM PDT; Last modified: April 16, 2006 8:17 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.2145653 Overall Rank: 4405 Comments:
This is good. There are a couple of parts you lose me though (I don't want an explanation).
'Found somewhere in the trunk Then watched her while it fell again' and 'He poked a stick down through The pot and nailed it to the ground Then he stood and waited'
I agree that explanations are like male nipples if they are not contained in the poem. But anyway, the âtrunkâ is the trunk of his car. And, he nailed the flower pot to the ground by pounding a chopstick down through its bottom. It actually worked pretty well.
Simple and vivid=good. "Then watched her" in the second verse is a little confusing.
In his mind, he watched her - thought of her when she was alive. Thanks.
Ethel had an honorable and loving man in that one...
I like the way I can picture him... so quietly determined...his Ethel would have her lily. Very good.
You have him pegged. âquietly determinedâ describes him perfectly. Itâs great when somebody understands.
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Well written