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Take Me Away When You're Gone (Free verse) by Twisted Wizard
Her eyes bloom like a flower in the depths of spring. A flower of times long forgotten. Times we shared now lay at rest. As does she. Her beauty no longer radiates peace in my heart. Never again shall I see the flowing sea of her endless golden locks. Be it true that my sadness is permanent. It is now I seek to find her soul, Lost in a dreary grey world. Entwined in my endless search, My flesh and her soul shall meet. One last time we'll meet before the threshold of winter comes upon us. One last time before the sun sets on the horizon. One last time before I wake. On the morn I'm awakened by a subtle touch. Startled, I jump, as if in a rush. Her familiar eyes set a gaze upon me. As she leans in closer. An explosion of emotion pulses through my veins, Taking me away to far away planes. One look back at our precious home, we say good-bye, My search is over and together we die.

Up the ladder: #10
Down the ladder: #5

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 01
.. 10
.. 30
.. 00
.. 02
.. 10
.. 00
.. 11
.. 01
.. 40

Arithmetic Mean: 4.529412
Weighted score: 4.5855074
Overall Rank: 12566
Posted: May 10, 2002 4:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2002 4:30 PM PDT
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Comments:
[1]... anonymous @ | 10-May-02/7:08 PM | Reply
Nate...this is good!!! *muah*
[2] deleted user @ 206.132.30.234 | 13-May-02/11:42 AM | Reply
Read "Annabelle Lee" by Edgar Allen Poe
[8] DolphnLvr82 @ 152.163.206.207 | 9-Jun-02/2:39 PM | Reply
just thought i would read some of yours and hit ya back with a comment.. thanks again by the way.. he was being a real jerk
[7] forestchild7 @ 216.77.209.45 | 9-Jul-02/3:12 PM | Reply
sad but pretty good... more meaningful and emotional so to speak... *smile*
[10] kissmeufool58 @ 24.157.2.224 | 10-Jul-02/9:13 PM | Reply
Hey I think you are a good writer! Forget what the ignorant individuals tell you. You have real potential! I enjoyed reading your work and I hope to hear from you :) if you have the chance comment some of my works
[n/a] Twisted Wizard @ | 13-Jul-02/11:16 PM | Reply
thanx, it is much appreciated that someone thinks good of my works.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Jul-02/12:27 AM | Reply
Hey dude what's up, you remind me of well me about a decade ago you'll grow wiser and faster. Push harder. Keep the line between honesty and wit semipermeable.
Do me a favor, as an experiment, (controled) go to www.gangbox.com and listen to the mp3 called "the salesman". I'd like to hear your opinion.
Nice poem, by the way. Try it in Korean. that would shut'em all up..
[n/a] Twisted Wizard @ | 16-Jul-02/3:19 PM | Reply
heh, i'll do that :)
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