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South Brooklyn Avenue (Other) by entonces
The street is wet on an afternoon covered in rain & growing into an evening of hows of hours, the getting here and there. If I told you I had a blueprint of the inside of your body, would you still turn your shoulder to the wind as if it could reach inside the dark cavity of your chest and whistle, hoot hollow like an owl? I notice you do this too when the days are calm, when nothing would fly through the curled hair growing from your head.

Up the ladder: Vigor Mortis

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4666667
Weighted score: 5.4110384
Overall Rank: 3076
Posted: May 10, 2002 2:14 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2002 2:14 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5]... anonymous @ 204.245.176.100 | 14-May-02/9:25 AM | Reply
the mood is working.....but line 3 of s2 /hoot hollow like an owl? I notice/ ........ actually most of s2 needs reworking... I love the image of the blueprint of the inside and the image of this person turning into themselves, turning away...... keep going with this it has potential
[10] hoopoe @ 62.254.32.4 | 19-May-02/2:54 AM | Reply
yes

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