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A comedian at nearly midnight (Free verse) by MacFrantic He says "Fuck shoes!" and we crack up
Laughter swells into our smiles
And we parrot out loud
"Fuck shoes!"
There is a car behind us
Blinding in the rear-view
I am going the speed limit though
If a little bit over
We giggle at the dramatic pause
And think
"Fuck shoes"
"Fuck shoes..."
The live audience indulges too
And it feels like acceptance
It feels like satisfaction
But somehow
I am sure the car on our tail isn't filled
With the sporatic sounds of a comedian
And I am not sure I care
Up the ladder:
Road Tripped
Down the ladder:
Agoraphobia in a Secret Garden
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: January 17, 2006 10:13 PM PST; Last modified: January 17, 2006 10:13 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.0596013 Overall Rank: 6776 Comments:
[6]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
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18-Jan-06/11:20 AM
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Reply
Good story, put the presentation needs work.
"Laughter swells into our smiles" is a throw away line, so throw it away. "Fuck Shoes" would have been a great title.
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