poemranker ::The Gospel According to Zodiac by Dovina

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Free verse № 132698

The Gospel According to Zodiac

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 30 Oct 2005 · 31 comments

In the beginning is Bob And Bob is sponge Sponge Bob All who receive Bob And believe him Become squares And wear square pants When a believer dies Bob absorbs that poor soul Mixing it with all dead souls In a soup of combined identity Bob wears square pants A symbol of his promise To square pantsed followers Thus the redeemer is called Sponge Bob Square Pants And his followers Square Pantsed Bobbers

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31 comments

[9] richa 31-Oct-05/3:52 AM Reply
Not sure about the relevance of verse three. Otherwise cool.
[n/a] Dovina › richa 31-Oct-05/10:53 AM Reply
He gets giddy over a heaven where all the problems with identity go away, and we get absorbed into some godness, because then he can ask, why even bother?
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/3:10 AM Reply
You can somehow force yourself to not wonder what happens if your identity is annihilated, so you can bother. I imagine it takes something like forcing your entire brain through a drinking straw.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/3:11 AM Reply
PS-I don't imagine a heaven where my "problems with identity go away". I love my identity. I don't believe it has problems. Only fat people wish to not be themselves in heaven.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/11:19 AM Reply
Then I've overestimated you; you want to be just as your are in heaven.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/11:29 AM Reply
Ooh, nice dig!

No, wait - I DO want to be zodiac in heaven. I don't even want to be zodiac-that-God-makes-a-million-times-smarter in heaven. Of course, when I'm a million times smarter, I'll probably think this is a bunch of rot.

My problem with annihilation of the self is a lot like my problem with reincarnation. Yeah, it's nice to think I'll get to come back to earth in infinite forms and such, but if I can't remember my previous lives, and if I'm not anything like them, how is it really zodiac being reincarnated, and not some completely new person? The fact that I don't actually believe in a soul that survives and somehow sublimates the self is probably a large part of why I don't get that.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/11:47 AM Reply
You want to be Zodiac in heaven, but you don't see how it's possible. The conundrum of one who thinks, and figures his thinking is as good as it gets.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/12:16 PM Reply
I'll readily concede that. And concede that people who feel (or whatever) the presence of something spiritual in the world have something I don't. Now if they'll just admit that I have something they don't...
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/12:18 PM Reply
Oh, you have something we don't, no doubt about it.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/12:28 PM Reply
Granted. I guess we ran that conversation out. Record time, too.
[9] INTRANSIT 31-Oct-05/6:55 AM Reply
One slice does it all.
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 31-Oct-05/10:55 AM Reply
Just a little pre-Christmas workout with the Sawzall blades.
[n/a] ALChemy 31-Oct-05/8:40 AM Reply
I would have thought he was more of a Squidward sympathist.

I never realised Jesus was so popular with the potheads and gays till now.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 31-Oct-05/10:56 AM Reply
Are you drunk this morning? Or is it evening where you are?
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 31-Oct-05/3:19 PM Reply
My days of Irish coffee in the morning have long since gone.

You must not watch the show much.
Squidward's the intellectual one. No matter how much he tries to get his point across, or thwart Spongebob's success Spongebob always lucks out. No body seems to understand Squidward.- Sound familiar?

Besides, how does a sober person decide to write a poem proclaiming Spongebob as God.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 31-Oct-05/4:32 PM Reply
I admit to not watching SpongeBob much. He seemed zodiacianly godlike in a particular mood, ok an intoxicated mood. Squidward is too pretentious for a god image. He's like somebody who knows all about god - sound familiar?
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 31-Oct-05/9:22 PM Reply
Oh you're saying Squidward is Zodiaclike or visa-versa. Hmmm, nope that never dawned on me.
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 31-Oct-05/3:32 PM Reply
The time on my comments is 5 hours fast.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 31-Oct-05/4:31 PM Reply
The time on mine is 7 hours fast. You're caught in Central Time Zone or Eastern with a slow clock.
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 31-Oct-05/9:32 PM Reply
Now we must wait patiently for Zod's reply.
[10] zodiac 1-Nov-05/3:09 AM Reply
I live +7 hours from Eastern Time, +2 from Greenwich, which is the time on the comment-clock.

I can honestly say I've never seen an episode of Spongebob in my life, so I'm rubber you're glue. I'm not even curious to hear how you figure this is relevant. -10-
[n/a] ALChemy › zodiac 1-Nov-05/9:07 AM Reply
I often babysit my niece and nephew. It's either that or Dora The Explorer.
[10] zodiac › ALChemy 1-Nov-05/10:53 AM Reply
Don't apologize. I hear he's good.
[10] zodiac 1-Nov-05/11:38 AM Reply
PS-The metaphor breaks down where you have God wearing pants.

PPS-Also where you have Sponge Bob Square Pants' followers be "Square Pants Bobbers". That would make the followers of Jesus Christ King of Kings "King Kinged Christers".
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/11:42 AM Reply
I thought of Square Pantsed Bobbers as TNT-clothed Muslims. It's really not about Christianity
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/12:17 PM Reply
Another bum metaphor. Muslims don't wear dynamite pants.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/12:21 PM Reply
It's not about Muslims either, silly.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 1-Nov-05/12:24 PM Reply
"I thought of Square Pantsed Bobbers as TNT-clothed Muslims."
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 1-Nov-05/12:30 PM Reply
Yes, but I was kidding. lol. :)
[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 1-Nov-05/12:49 PM Reply
If you're going to use sarcasm in literature please make it at least slightly noticable. No one can hear the accentuation in your voice that makes sarcasm so common in spoken language.

PS. Try to pass that knowledge on to DA if it's at all possible.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 1-Nov-05/12:51 PM Reply
Yes, lol, that's good advice.