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Coffee Incorrectly (Free verse) by gregsamsa222
you ordered "coffee incorrectly" on Amsterdam Avenue and the waitress grimaced "years of experience" I explained to you as she shuffled away, her soft white shoes sliding almost erotically against the blue and grey linoleum floor like a recurring theme through the Civil War "It isn't often that she receives permission to serve an item incorrectly" We conversed, lightly and aimlessly, about the nature of coffee incorrectly, the dark black overpowered by the milky whiteness and how, since you ordered it to be as it was, could it truly be called coffee incorrectly

Up the ladder: Anonymous Love
Down the ladder: Blue

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7984
Posted: August 4, 2005 9:39 AM PDT; Last modified: August 4, 2005 9:48 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Bethy @ 24.222.32.197 | 4-Aug-05/12:01 PM | Reply
good one :)
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 5-Aug-05/1:49 PM | Reply
I like this, but have trouble with the adverb following the noun in the title and in the theme.
[n/a] gregsamsa222 @ 64.12.116.138 > Dovina | 5-Aug-05/3:07 PM | Reply
Heard the term on a travel show. A native in Amsterdam took the host to a cafe, and ordered something. She turned to the host and said, 'That has no translation in English. It more or less translates to 'coffee incorrectly.'" Dunno why, but I like the term, and tried to undercut the awkwardness of it by putting it in quotes the first time its used, hoping to make it seem more like a specific item on the menu...
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