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The Critical and His Horse (Free verse) by MacFrantic
Flickering shadows on the walls Shaking scenes of desperation The crippled sounds Drowning all sensation Building excuses in his head The Critical waits for the end Praying nightly to no one Creating to himself a friend His horse was rightly dappled Shapely and coarse-haired Trailing a black mane With pitiful eyes as it stared The next night as the nurse departed His horse was golden brown Untamed and unbridled Moonlight upon its crown But finally the Critical passed His horses gone to green His lonely bed His walls so white and clean

Down the ladder: Separation

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Weighted score: 5.5827065
Overall Rank: 2358
Posted: February 17, 2005 10:54 PM PST; Last modified: February 17, 2005 10:54 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 12.72.7.70 | 18-Feb-05/5:10 PM | Reply
sad
[n/a] MacFrantic @ 64.12.116.67 | 19-Feb-05/12:31 AM | Reply
I thank you to no limit.
[n/a] Joi @ 207.119.185.153 | 26-Aug-07/11:11 PM | Reply
I liked the third line. Need an ending.
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