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Johnny football painter (Free verse) by Crakyamuni
SO what if she can argue better Johnny, we got the fire in our fuckin brains your distance is part of the tremulant nothing more than a shame SO what if you hurt now Johnny, we put a brain in your ass It's there to make you wonder about the bad things you'll pass You see, were all one tremendous passage dark and carnivorous and the sheep that roam freely just feed on your willingness You're a hero to them Johnny A hero to fame and if I really was the one you loved I'd be irreparably insane

Up the ladder: I want to sleep

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 8048
Posted: January 6, 2005 8:43 PM PST; Last modified: January 7, 2005 10:00 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Crakyamuni @ 131.252.229.148 | 6-Jan-05/9:18 PM | Reply
typos anyone?
[8] Shuushin @ 64.222.171.185 | 6-Jan-05/11:22 PM | Reply
carnivorous
irreparably

and, what the hell, tremulant... I like the word - I don't like it there. Maybe if I knew your work better I could more easily accept the reach of it.

It has a nice feel/flavor to it overall, though.
[n/a] Crakyamuni @ 131.252.231.65 > Shuushin | 7-Jan-05/10:01 AM | Reply
Changed it a bit, thanks for the feed back.
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