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Drive on (Free verse) by Meler1123 Drive, drive, drive on
Past the magic marker leaves
Past endless rows of corn
Past the dirty round trucker veering into your lane
Through the partially purple-pink painted sunset
Through the next boring state
Through those empty unincorporated towns
Into the cold eerie darkness
Into your sixth full CD
Into your peaceful dreams
Awoken by that loud rumbling sound
Open your eyes
Slap your startled face
Sip your cold coffee
Prepare yourself to
Drive, drive, drive on
Up the ladder:
3312
Down the ladder:
the wind outside
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Posted: October 19, 2004 11:30 AM PDT; Last modified: October 19, 2004 11:30 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.928861 Overall Rank: 9244 Comments:
[7]
Dovina @ 24.52.156.155
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19-Oct-04/12:12 PM
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Reply
I like the driving rhythm. Too many adjectives in lines like, "Awoken by that loud rumbling sound." -> Awake to rumbles, or something simple like that.
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