Daddy

Member since 2002 · Posted 26 Aug 2002 · 2 comments

He's not gonna be at my wedding He's not gonna be at my grad He won't be there for Christmas and that really makes me mad. He isn't going to visit He isn't going to call We cannot keep in touch anymore and that doesn't please me at all. No one can replace him It just wouldn't be the same he was literally my hero and Daddy was his name. My life has been a living hell ever since he passed away there's only so many memories why did it have to be this way?

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mean 6.20 weighted 5.14 rank 5345 views 130 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

2 comments

[5] Redfin 26-Aug-02/12:17 PM Reply

your pain comes across, give it time and remember that he love'd you. Make him proud of who your are and who you will be.

[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 26-Aug-02/3:04 PM Reply

While I'm sure your sorrow is both beautiful and deep, your expression of it is facile and stupefyingly dull. I might have thought that it was intentionally 'childlike', but the last verse strikes me as unintentionally shit. What are you trying to achieve here? Are you attempting to say something that mere prose couldn't say? Are you experimenting with new forms of poetic expression? Or are you just trying to make your expression of grief rhyme? Contrary to popular belief, things that rhyme aren't more true or deep than things that don't rhyme. 10/10!!!