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Blind (Free verse) by shwenatjadeflower
I The blaring light of your aura blinds me The ache of your goodness surrounds me The taste of your skin reminds me Of all the times you should have found me Wanting and drenched in sin Sometimes its good to be a bad girl But not around you In your perfect world Where the sky is always blue And the grass is always green Where cars don't pollute the air And people are not mean Where everyone gives a care There is no littering. You live in a world That is your own Everyone has morals That are known And no one breaks A promise to you Everyone shakes Is just and true Methinks you are blind If you opened you're eyes You would find That the sky isn't always blue The grass isn't always green Cars do pollute the air And people Are mean No one gives a care There is littering People Do have morals but they aren't known and that makes them all the easier to break Promises are little white lies that are forgotten over time I want you to know I want you to see I would remove your blindfold But i am afraid of what you would think When your eyes beheld... Me II As I remove the wall that has forever protected you from the evils in this world you glance about your exuberant smile eases to a normal one and then fades away as you see the things ive seen each and every day it is a shock to see your world come crashing down on you the smog chokes you the sun blinds you the heat engulfs your soul as acid rain begins to pour i rush you to my home the sky, as god, is crying for you for you cannot mourn the loss of a world that never was

Up the ladder: Falling
Down the ladder: a t i m e

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7842
Posted: August 24, 2002 6:55 PM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2002 7:57 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 24-Aug-02/10:33 PM | Reply
Clive Barker just bungie jumped out of the ghost structure of the shattered light house in Alexandria with a piano string tied to his mushroom prince...the judge from kenya gave his dive a 6.667895 for missing the water... i cryed for the loss of a great visionest...
[5] searching @ 206.186.188.197 | 27-Aug-02/2:10 PM | Reply
A little dull, but I liked the message nevertheless
[6] Venus @ 198.81.26.167 | 27-Aug-02/9:40 PM | Reply
Hmmm... I've dated guys like this before, pains in the arses in my opinion - but I've never been much for the 'eyes wide shut' types. The poem has some good emotion, and I especially like the line "Promises are little white lies that are forgotten over time" - how true. I would continue to tighten it up. 6/10
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