Poemranker [Poem: Leaving and Coming] [by Spindle] Thu Nov 21 10:34:47 PST 2024

I'm leaving but I'm not ready I'm leaving and I'm gone My heart is so unsteady Once I've left I won't belong I wish I could split in half I'm selfish and I know I want to be with him, with them I love them all so I don't want it to feel this way I don't want to blame where I'm going I know it's gonna be great But I guess I'm just sad

[3] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.213.67.10 | 7-Sep-04/9:18 AM | Reply

Ryhme Scheme? a-b-a-b a-b-c-b a-b-c-d? What are you thinking? Details? Him, Them, gonna be great, what the hell? Add some. Potential is there just really sloppy writing. This isn't one of those poems that was ment to be so crypticly vague that even the writer won't know what its about after a week or two is it?

-3- for now. Rewrite, Rewrite, and Rewrite. Your words and depth will only get better because of it.

<3 Jason

[7] Prince of Void @ 83.170.55.136 | 14-Sep-04/8:27 PM | Reply

i think it's good i like it.... honstely speaking

[7] Prince of Void @ 83.170.55.136 | 14-Sep-04/8:30 PM | Reply

i think it's good i like it.... honestly speaking