poemranker ::Untitled by Piano

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Free verse № 111

Untitled

Member since 2001 · Posted 16 Mar 2002 · 5 comments

walk to the window and look at the sun a big yellow ball burning holes in my fun rotten spring apples left out in the fall there's nothing left here nothing at all the leaves are all gone there's a hole where they were a hole in my hand outside is a blur tucked inside my little hideout the vultures can't get to me to peck my eyes out broken and bleeding I am alone I am not you this is my home don't think about me you can't see me today I cannot hear you I have gone away

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mean 4.31 weighted 4.39 rank 12980 views 196 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

5 comments

[n/a] deleted user 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM Reply
I can't tell if this is a joke or melodramatic. Recommend rewriting with more focus.
[9] anonymous 26-Jul-01/3:59 PM Reply
Humbug! The only images this conjures up in me are a mix between Scrooge and Golem. But you did a good job of bringing those thoughts out.
[9] anonymous 12-May-02/3:37 PM Reply
Okay fine I won't think about you. That might be hard, since I really wanted to think about you.
[9] anonymous 17-May-02/9:35 AM Reply
sing song feel to this one... like a child's rhyme.. and then from out for FREAKING NOWHERE: the vultures arrive to peck your eyes out. YEEEEEEEHAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Jul-02/1:01 PM Reply
WTF LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!