poemranker ::Oh this little mouse, love by cpill

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Free verse № 110748

Oh this little mouse, love

by cpill

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Aug 2004 · Edited 15 Jul 2005 · 2 comments

Oh this little mouse This quite mouse you scamper you In the crevice of a noisy day slips into pin cracks only to rub a worn hand in passing this thorn of hurried forgetfulness please hide! Its in the lone time of the quite room when the day softly rattles to a halt outside. inside is you to me quite quietness this little thing lies in the middle of the carpet in the best spot and playful I’m yours winds around this finger (I try to point) oh silly quite shyly smiles me down playful wrestles a glance and and geez alright I guess you can stay no-because you I love

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2 comments

[6] Shuushin 18-Jul-05/1:49 PM Reply
quite s/b quiet

Its s/b It's

"playful wrestles a glance and
and geez alright" - are the two "and"s intentional?

As with a few of your other poems, I like where you ended up, but not necessarily how you got there - or maybe it's the other way around; I can't tell.

[n/a] <~> 20-Jul-05/7:56 AM Reply
this has a nice playful feel to it, but "i love you" feels a bit over the top.