Replying to a comment on:

Oh this little mouse, love (Free verse) by cpill

Oh this little mouse This quite mouse you scamper you In the crevice of a noisy day slips into pin cracks only to rub a worn hand in passing this thorn of hurried forgetfulness please hide! Its in the lone time of the quite room when the day softly rattles to a halt outside. inside is you to me quite quietness this little thing lies in the middle of the carpet in the best spot and playful I’m yours winds around this finger (I try to point) oh silly quite shyly smiles me down playful wrestles a glance and and geez alright I guess you can stay no-because you I love

Shuushin 18-Jul-05/1:49 PM
quite s/b quiet

Its s/b It's

"playful wrestles a glance and
and geez alright" - are the two "and"s intentional?

As with a few of your other poems, I like where you ended up, but not necessarily how you got there - or maybe it's the other way around; I can't tell.





Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001