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Restless rest. (Free verse) by Furin Who is restless as the river?
Sun sets man sleeps.
That's all it gets until it leaps.
Tree bends child dreams.
It never ends is as it seems.
Water seeps tides go out.
Some in deeps, what is it all about?
Flames hold still lakes evaporate.
Connections on this hill are never too late.
Pressure drops many die.
The river stops it's all a lie.
Up the ladder:
My Truth?
Down the ladder:
The sunset sea.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Posted: July 24, 2004 3:40 AM PDT; Last modified: July 24, 2004 3:40 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.905148 Overall Rank: 9765 Comments:
180 view(s)
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try a comma or two, and check your ending punctuation, there are some places where you need question marks, but lack them.
the poem isn't strong enough to drown out the grammatical errors, so my voting would be pointless.
this needs honing. badly.