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the secret language of clouds (Free verse) by fair12
today the sky turned five shades of grey with bone white fingers, cutting clarity from our sight as though a scythe through the air the wind became a poem with bending branches, swaying words in a world of once spoken truths, scratching voices meant for whispers in the late afternoon of Wednesday’s dying light we starred blankly as rain smeared over windows, each drop a sentence running away with our words like five year-olds we became fascinated by our inability to see the great green world beyond, watched as darkness flanked the earths edges and sighed at blue’s attempt at speach

Up the ladder: Staying Alive
Down the ladder: ~PROM MEANS 2 ME~

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10  .. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10663
Posted: July 23, 2004 12:27 PM PDT; Last modified: July 23, 2004 12:27 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 | 23-Jul-04/3:04 PM | Reply
Some good lines here and a good thought. I'd cull a few words - "though" in line 5, "over" in verse 4,
speech
[3] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 80.42.119.100 | 23-Jul-04/6:11 PM | Reply
Poorly articulated. E.g. rain is not particularly noted for starring blankly. And were you really smeared over some windows? I suspect you meant:

We stared blankly,
As rain smeared over windows,
Each drop a sentence running away with our words.
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