Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Phoebus (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
In dreams of bedlam, it was said that the poem speaks the poet, and it did then-- but now Only the thought remains, fruitless and dead; only the thought remains, narrow and blind, reflecting a broken image. Cigarette smoke, methylated vapors intermix. I hunger for warm, fresh-spilt blood, yearning to be a savage waiting patiently to deliver the mother-fucking coup de grace-- but Only the thought remains, fruitless and dead; only the thought remains, narrow and blind, lost in dreams of bedlam. The voices of dead sons travel the theta waves of my freaky brainspace. They say that a poet, far removed from his poem, reveals himself, undistorted and completely unaware; crafting poems that express poetry in life: the thoughts of brainsick men, of common folk, of shallow women, greedy politicians and ones obsession with love, with sex, with money, family, delusions of god, anything, everything, whatever your mind can possibly imagine-- but In the end the thought remains fruitless and dead; in the end the thought remains, narrow and blind, reflecting a broken image. In the end a poem is empty; its meaning twisted, saying absolutely nothing.

Up the ladder: Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk
Down the ladder: Falling

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.4
Weighted score: 5.286087
Overall Rank: 3688
Posted: June 19, 2004 4:50 AM PDT; Last modified: June 19, 2004 4:50 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[10] sliver @ 63.190.81.217 | 19-Jun-04/9:10 AM | Reply
I hope you didn't write this after reading a few of mine last night! So true, no matter how hard we try, we will always reveal at least a part of who we are in whatever we write. I think it is unavoidable, kinda like death.
[8] richa @ 81.178.246.218 | 19-Jun-04/11:57 AM | Reply
Sliver: 19jun04--9:10am

'no matter how hard we try, I'm a mutton shunter we will always reveal at least a part of who we are in whatever we write'
[8] richa @ 81.178.246.218 | 19-Jun-04/12:04 PM | Reply
Like the first two verses in terms of their lyricism. And most of the rest of it, its just the parts of the poem 'revealing yourself' seems a bit removed. Especially verse three.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.164.116 > richa | 19-Jun-04/6:06 PM | Reply
Are you making a joke, or are you serious? Oh,and it's good to hear from you, been awhile hasn't it?
[8] richa @ 81.178.236.72 > SupremeDreamer | 20-Jun-04/12:46 PM | Reply
No serious, there seems to be so many fragments that seem to be unnanounced: Methylated vapours, fresh-spilt blood, freaky brainspace. Just seems out of kilter.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.160.168 > richa | 20-Jun-04/4:43 PM | Reply
Ah, well thats just how it unfolded in my mind as I wrote it really... and honestly can't see what order there is at all in the piece, having forged it in reckless abandon and comfortably detached. It is odd I guess. To me it's normal and.. unhampered.

[9] titan69 @ 62.31.23.40 | 20-Jun-04/1:08 AM | Reply
you hit the nail on the head there boy
with your last fuw comments? 9/10
330 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2019 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001