on some deleted poem
15 Oct 2002, 11:33 AM
the last 8 lines are very nice. the beginning could be a little smoother. there's something about it that chunks along a little too clunkily.
on song of the birds by rainbow
9 Oct 2002, 11:26 AM
something tells me the hawk isn't in pain but is announcing to his buddies that you're going to be dinner. you have "the" twice in the second stanza.
on The First Poem by jrtails
9 Oct 2002, 10:35 AM
LukeHanney might be paranoid and overzealous, but this works nicely. it's nice when something catches you off guard with its
on Midnight Dream by Katie
7 Oct 2002, 8:25 AM
Naughty, naughty! Do your parents know you do this in the dark corners of your bedroom at night after they've gone to sleep?
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2002, 9:05 AM
there's something funny about this, yet truly idiotic. i guess the 2 go hand in hand at times. get rid of the first stanza and this will be better. "that's cabbage for you" is a classic line.
on Snack for the Shameless by New Life Drug
9 Oct 2002, 10:37 AM
the title is the best part. i thought it was going to have something to do with