Replying to a comment on:

The Air That Escapes His Lungs. (Free verse) by cleverdevice

The air that escapes his lungs shall not return, It shall not return, like the brothers he knew. Gone is the air like his hopes his dreams. Gone is the air, it shall not renew. Pale and ashen his croaks go unheard. Unheard, unlike the screams of his friends. His croaks go unheard, like his fate goes unheard. His croaks go unheard 'till the end. His tears are shed like the blood he has shed, Shed for causes unknown, unknown, Unknown like the pain he has to bear, The pains which are sharpened, are honed. No more is this child, this child of this earth. No more is he as no more are they, They that struggled for this place, this heart, They are no more, no more is their day.

SupremeDreamer 28-Apr-04/5:52 AM
It makes me feel as if I'm attending a new age funeral proceeding conducted by an unknown militant cult- but thats not bad, mostly I liked it, but its well.. slightly more stiff than a catholic sermon, to me anyway.

Blessed with eight.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001