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Over Simplification (Free verse) by Richard

Slivers of measure turned to shavings by a carpenter’s hand. Internal tribulations inhibited and a valid recall authorized. Ash covered eye excretion, quiescent in a cold campfire. Wrongfully purchased items returned within thirty days, The residue crossed through, an old receipt refunded. Unrequited aspiration for earlier currency possessed, Dirty though they were, now gone to another’s hand. My wallet filled with brand new legal tender, I shall carry them folded, in my back pocket. i.e. That time of us- Anesthetized, I. Cascaded tears, fallen, cold ashes their haven. For this short time together, You, a mistake, wishfully erased. I long for her that preceded you, But she has moved on, So have I… Ergo Moments, begetting Painlessness, begetting Weeping, begetting Liaison, begetting Aftermath, begetting Oblivion, begetting Recovery, begetting Mending, begetting Solace.

SupremeDreamer 31-Mar-04/12:38 PM
The beginning being more padded and the middle/ending more minimalistic makes this a bit of an odd read.. plus its a little vague how the stanzas relate to each other. Seems like you wanted to embellish the first stanza, then along the way got lazy. Its promising though, I think you could build this into ace material.. then again, thats just my opinion.

A seven for now.




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