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Dancing with the Dandelions (Free verse) by Piano

we spent our days laughing in the sunshine running in the fields dancing with the dandelions we were so young and so carefree children in the brightness the rain falling on our faces oh, how soft the breeze blew and stole our precious flowers the frightful storm of reality ripped through our lives oblivious of us, of me, of you and like the dandelions we too have gone to seed blown away in the wind we grow amongst the weed I want to walk in the sun again to be a child of the sun again to feel the rain on my face again to dance with the dandelions again

anonymous 10-Apr-02/8:21 AM
you have a lot of superfluous articles that get in the way of your flow. We spent days/laughing in sunshine/running fields/dancing with dandelions/We were young/carefree/children in brightness/falling rain on our faces/ the breeze blew soft/stole our precious flower/the frightful storm/ripped our lives/oblivious/like dandelions/we too have gone to seed/blown away in the wind/we grow amongst the weed/I want to walk in the sun again/be a child of the sun/feel the rain on my face/dance with dandelions




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