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Swiftly (Free verse) by darkshark

The brook will not freeze over tonight It has rained too hard The water is moving too swiftly Give me your hand I will show you The shallow parts Where the rocks poke out of the water Where it is safe to wade We can cross together One step at a time And dry out our socks By the fire As we watch the water die down When our breath becomes smoke The embers will glow And together we will fade

darkshark 7-Feb-04/12:06 PM
thanks for the advice...I'll look over it more
I agree with you on 'poke'...not the best word choice
It's a bit confused because I only wrote up one draft of it, and I was trying to be deeply metaphorical.
Ya know, having the crossing of the freezing water be life, and how it will not 'freeze over' because too much happens for it to ever stop, and the crossing it with someone's help is finding someone to live with, and then the watching the fire and fading bit....well, you get the idea




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