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Drizzle (Free verse) by Sam

I’ve imagined myself free Liberated from all my human indignities Softly flowing like fluvial droplets Glimmering like glass fairies slowly Descending into the ground to unmindfully Flood the land with gentle take over. Like the puddles reflecting the glory of the Moon navigating the night sky forlornly With its wings sliding through the little rainbows Created from the every strand of my hair as The misty pixies shower me with magic dust. And I've felt myself light as the night air and soft As the drizzles of tiny creatures playing around The depth of my shallow mind wanting to Fall like rain into the earth of my abandoned wonderland.

Shuushin 31-Jan-04/4:04 AM
Actually, this is quite good for the most part.

"Flood the land with gentle take over" is not.

I can do without "forlornly" and "little" in this context.

I think it's still deserving of a nine though - nice job.




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