Replying to a comment on:

My Secret (Free verse) by ThoughtfulSoul

Your pretty blue eyes and pale skin makes me want you. Your soft voice and innocent look makes me care for you. Your dark hair and your unique body makes me think about you. I want to talk to you, but I can't because fear has me by the neck and isn't letting go anytime soon. I know every moment I waste means someone might snatch you up, but my paralyzing fear locks my words inside of me. Courage is an idea that wasn't passed on to me and I know nothing of it. I know rejection isn't painful, but the idea of it is torture. If I had the strength to tell you my feelings, I would tell you how much I love you

Shuushin 4-Nov-03/12:30 PM
so sweet - and so sad.

I wonder about the "unique body" . . . I'd typically crit for the simple descriptors (doesn't show much, tells alot) - but they fit with the simple emotional theme, so; fine.

This would easily make a very nice ghazal.





Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001