poetandknowit20 Oct 2003

Let’s see:

Line 1: cliché
Line: 2: cliché
Line 3: cliché
Line 4: what are you 14?
Line 5: vague and bordering cliché
Line6: cliché
Line 7/8: see Line 4.
Line: 9 cliché
Line 10: See line 4.
Line 11: why not ev’r more for effect, I mean the poem is shit anyway, might as well go all the way.
Line 12: it’s “it’” – also see line 4.
Line 13/14/15: could be good if not leaning toward cliché
Line 16: stupid. See line 4.

Other than that lovely. And such original thinking.