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Drug Addict (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

empty have been my dreams like hollow stones whispers and fading winds all that i hear now, i fear. ghost visions and shadows haunt the walls, in this old room. seems like years ago, when i would break the window and run away. the morning dreams have come again along with the insomnia, my reality warps once more. its warm in this time capsul and lonely, the pipe warm the smoke curling slow before the morning rays. a lovely coffin.

poetandknowit 20-Oct-03/2:05 PM
Let’s see:

Line 1: cliché
Line: 2: cliché
Line 3: cliché
Line 4: what are you 14?
Line 5: vague and bordering cliché
Line6: cliché
Line 7/8: see Line 4.
Line: 9 cliché
Line 10: See line 4.
Line 11: why not ev’r more for effect, I mean the poem is shit anyway, might as well go all the way.
Line 12: it’s “it’” – also see line 4.
Line 13/14/15: could be good if not leaning toward cliché
Line 16: stupid. See line 4.

Other than that lovely. And such original thinking.




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