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Die (Free verse) by Artemis745

I bleed into the fountain, And watch the water turn, An almost golden crimson, As I watch the fresh cut burn. My eyes deceived me, My mouth went dry, My life has ended, I'd been left to die.

Shuushin 11-Oct-03/5:37 AM
... and not a drop to drink.

I like it - I would like it more if the word "almost" killed itself.

maybe replace it with another modifier. like "gentle", or sumfin.




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