nentwined22 Sep 2003

"and live in fear all the while" has stresses in the wrong places. "gotta learn to defend" is missing a syllable. and same with "all your junk 'til the end"--but that you can just make "until" and it's good to go. (btw, till is used in "to till a field"), the one you're wanting is the shortened form of "until". the apostrophe replaces the "un", and there's no need to add an l.

beyond that... nice, simple poem; with rhythm tweaks, I think this would be solid, and in any case is good to get out of the system. :)