Replying to a comment on:
The empty room
(
Free verse
) by
INTRANSIT
I was invited to heaven and saw Jesus there. He held his face in his hands, he was sobbing. Gray and matted was his hair. I said: "Jesus? What is wrong?" He said: "I don't know, nobody stays." And then he sent me away.
INTRANSIT
3-Sep-03/4:58 AM
I can dig the comma. I wanted (hair) to rhyme with (there),I was trying a more subtle rhyme with this. I see what you're saying though. I'll play with it.
Oh looky! No more onesies-twosies! I must be gaining the respect of someone with pertinance. Ha! OW! damn that coffee's hot!
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