I have a dirty little problem But not the kind to cause me sobbin’ It isn’t one I bear alone, Lots of people choke on THE BONE And what I mean is this, you see Blow-Jobs STICK TO MEMORY My gay friend, Adrian, aptly named it D.I.Y.M.S Dick In Your Mouth Syndrome, of course Or, “HI, I'VE SUCKED YOUR PENIS” For example At the market, I see Spencer Hi, how are you? I’ve been better, my brother in is the emergency room Oh no! (Your penis looked like a mushroom) What happened to your little brother? (One ball hung lower than the other) A car hit his bike! It was so Scary! (And as I recall, they were really hairy) And at the Gym, I run into Chad Hey, how are you? Oh hi! Not bad… (You fucking freak, I massaged your nads) I’ve been working on my lines non-stop! (I licked you like a push-up pop) Good luck, I hope you get the part! (I almost died when you let out a fart) And at Bed Bath and Beyond… Well look who it is! Karl---what a surprise! (I know that you’re un-circumcised) Tonight my band is playing a show! (You groaned like a dying buffalo) You should really come if you can make it! (Your cum tasted like absolute shit) Well thanks Karl, but I already have plans… That’s okay, Here, let me give you a --head-- I MEAN- hand…