SupremeDreamer21 Aug 2003

"And how many times must I wish upon a falling star"

and? wheres the beginning? JOE??? cmon man, just look, read that.. doesnt it make you wonder whether its a
continuation of some earlier stanzas?

the rhyme is forced into a rigid form.. and frankly, the whole damned poem is cliche.. your sentences are undercooked.

forget attempting to fix this thing, because your looking at a complete rewrite.. be brave, move the fuck on, and stop saving whatever the hell your writing saying "its not worthy"

pfff.. dont become a pussy.