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Incomplete (Free verse) by Hostileintent

Some say methinks I'm paranoid, Paranoid to fight the void, The void that sleeps,the void who hunts, The void that preys,prays never- preys never tin the morn, Because we mourn,what those who have gone before Him,have borne. For when we are born, Some,He says,must die, That invalid wound of being a being, and for the rest, The megre,insignificant and wretched, ...Our foolish...- are foolhardy puissant individuals, And precarious fob eachother off as, Whose persona is not pellucid, Forget their ignorance-through the leviathan, So is it best,not to be the best, The distinctive,innate and innocuous, But just.....Ordinary

Caducus 14-Aug-03/1:03 PM
from here is fine:
The megre,insignificant and wretched,
...Our foolish...-
are foolhardy puissant individuals,
And precarious fob eachother off as,
Whose persona is not pellucid,
Forget their ignorance-through the leviathan,
So is it best,not to be the best,
The distinctive,innate and innocuous,
But just.....Ordinary

But prior to it reads like a different poem altogether, its different in style and is drowned to overkill by rhyme. Easy on the word void, there is rescind which is another defintion of the word.

I like the end which i pasted above but it reads more like a collaboration due to the difference in styles. another 7.

Your always welcome on my feedback.




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