god'swife14 Aug 2003

You see darling, here is a perfect example of what I mean. You trying to accomidate INTRANSIT because he didn't get it, so you came up with a way to make it clear, but what you came up with was forced. And then when speaking to me you say "I do hate to go over a bridge when I can see the rails" WOW there's a line there's an image that ties right into the meaning of the poem! She can see over the rail, and it's a long fucking way down, and she's just so ready to jump off. Plus you introduce the bridge for INTRANSIT just the way you wanted. Let your natural voice, which has all the insight necessary for poetry, be the poem. You are a poet.