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Sparkling Rust (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

Drifting in the mental ocean... my nerve universe, thoughts spinning, going back to the beginning of my life. Vhs tape called memory is rewound back at high speed. My inner soul bleeds from the images flashing, like an old film. Cold metal sparkles from a rusted switch blade thrusted deep into flesh. Cut veins pour a stream of hot blood onto the floor... The last image of my brother twenty-nine and gone forever.

Caducus 13-Aug-03/6:02 AM
Excellent job its not pretentious, and I think its very poignant (especially the end, so sudden and final). Line one is also quite a beautiful thought, a mental ocean, that one line spawns so many thoughts like clams, drowning in yourself, being consumed, blue etc,

This is raw and lingers, I have e0mailed it to my inbox (as i write so many death/angst poems take this a compliment) 10




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