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Myopic Labotomized Hubris (Free verse) by Retaliate

The plans on the table pour liquid from the minds of endless madmen The myopic lobotomized hubris of a bodiless head that feeds itself with the invisible hands of miserable men soon the table will be submerged and the only thing left in the room (should we fail to bilge this insanity) will be our anoxiated swollen carcass and an empty hollow head like a chalice floating half-submerged in its own stagnant meningial fluid

Retaliate 8-Aug-03/9:21 PM
I like your mentor's subtlety. A simultaneous compliment and critique if I read it right. Do you think any of these words are ill chosen for their purpose?

The last sentence is basically a list of all things left in the room: a carcass, a head, and all the meningial fluid. Apparently there is enough bilgewater in the head to drown us and the head it is contained by.




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