Replying to a comment on:

blue lilac and I (edit) (Free verse) by richa

sitting by the stream silvered in pike, and picking from still air the e-minor of trombone I could see the craned neck of blue lilac in shade bowl faced to the sun like a beggar, so succinctly put was its life and mine

Retaliate 7-Aug-03/8:23 PM
Very nice richa.

E-minor is a chord, by the way, which would take multiple instruments to hear.

This is unfortunate because the poem really enjoys having a solitary instrument, but also benefits from recognizing specifically an e-minor feel.

Perhaps:
'and picking from the still air
a dorian scent of trombone'

(Dorian is a mode that has a minoresque feel to it and can be played with a series of notes on a single instrument.)




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