http://mulberryfairy4 Aug 2003

Line 2: It's
Line 3: society's code

Line 6: It's (It's needs an apostrophe throughout)

Maybe add something about the tortured's so-called "learned helplessness"

self-pity instead of self pity

I like the line about rusted eyelids.

take the ashes of a war
and turn it into solid bricks (change "it" to "them" - the ashes)

and does not see pure white snow- maybe change to "the white purity"
but a beautiful rainbow
of color just waiting to be realized.
(little too cliche there, maybe "a spectrum of colors aching to be released (or restored)"

chained immediately since birth, - how about "chained immediately after birth" or "chained since birth"
I like the last three lines.
This has some good parts, but I think you need more fresh images. Some parts, especially earlier in the piece, are too teachy.