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Misgivings (Free verse) by Topaz Servias

Through the deception of our lives together We drift apart as we embrace each other To someone watching we seem a couple But to my eyes, the truth is seen. At times we hate each other with a passion But still we know we wold never leave I walk away with words unsaid While the words that were leave a bitter taste. Now I look upon our lives And find that we are worlds apart To stiffle the feeling of sad regret I close one door to open another. With these words I say goodbye Yet in my heart forever you remain Know that while I walk away Around the corner I say your name.

richa 4-Jul-03/8:19 AM
this needs a bit more of you in it, the lack of originality detracts from the feeling you want to get across.

what I do like about this is the rhythm and sonority, even though you don't appear to be explicitly rhyming your words.




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