Replying to a comment on:

Lost love (Free verse) by Mikius

Pain Shoots through me Like some sword-wound, deep in my heart Someone has cut open my chest But it’s not, It’s just love Just maybe, somewhere along the way I got lost. I love her. I never meant To hurt her so. To scare her or use her Inside and out Like something Something to be used No I love her Now she has left Left me alone With my thoughts With my mind Dark and twisted Poisonous thought Taking root Evil No I never meant to hurt her Or scare her so I love her I love her

Mikius 29-Apr-03/1:46 PM
I think you misunderstand. My aim here was to make it unspecific, alluring to a feeling rather than a set place or time. I appreciate you comments, but it's not the direction I want to take the poem in. The idea is more of the man trapped within himself, talking to no-one but himself, and torn, cast aside. I feel someone in that state is to emotionally involved to look back and smile, or remind himself as he is plagued with self doubt.

Anyway, I appreciate your help and might consider doing something along those lines, but if you don't like this as it is, I'm sorry, but I don't plan to radically re-work it (for the moment, anyway)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001