Replying to a comment on:

On coming across a field of deer one afternoon (2) (Free verse) by <~>

Snap! Attune and pivot: A lithe and muscled escape, A whirling melee of grace, Spryly sprung over tumbled bramble. Crash! The tide ebbs, in haste, uphill: Ten tailed in tiny white flames Of ermined retreat. Run! To dun on dun: Gone.

Ranger 12-Mar-03/12:49 PM
Ah, I think you misunderstand me here. What there is is fantastic, but for a fast piece it takes too long to say as a single line. I think that zzinnia (see-no capitals!) might want to consider splitting it into two lines. I agree with you that this is an excellent poem, just my opinion on that line is different.




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